Calmly, I kept quiet and listened. Then I said to him “Tell me more.” Then I kept quiet again. And listened some more. And took notes. (In case I hadn’t listened carefully enough.)
Then I thanked him for his help and told him I would think about it. I praised him for coming up with such a good suggestion. And I thanked him for listening to me.
What just happened?
I’ve just demonstrated exactly what I did to approach my boyfriend so that he would listen to me. During that time, I was unhappy about his relationship with another female and it was driving me crazy. But I still managed to remain calm.
How did I do it?
I Did It By Learning How To Understand Men Better.
To be more specific, I learned about
- How men listen to women…
- What makes a man NOT want to listen to a woman…
- What encourages a man to confide in his lover…
- What makes a man unwilling to confide in a woman he loves…
- And thus, I discovered that…
- Men can listen better when you want him to help you solve a problem; Tell him what you want from him BEFORE you start talking; Pick a good timing.
- A man stops listening when there are too many words; He can’t follow unrelated thoughts; He’s not sure what to do when you’re being too emotional or he feels blamed.
- The most important thing a man needs, in order to confide in someone, is the feeling of safety.
- A man won’t confide in a woman he loves if he fears her reaction; or she keeps trying to tell him what to do (like his mother).
So, How Is My Understanding Of Men Any Different From Yours?
It’s different because most women really don’t understand men. They think they do but in fact they are mistaken. And this misconception is what causes most women to still talk to their boyfriend… in the same way as they would treat a close female friend.
I know this because I used to do that too… And I can share with you, that my ignorance didn’t make my relationship with my husband any better. It only made things worse…
The more I tried to stop him from talking to his close female friend, the more he thought I was crazy… felt I was insecure… became less willing to talk to me. It was scary. Very scary.
So what did I do? I finally gave up and admitted my ignorance.
Then I Decided To Do Myself A Favor And Put My Energy Into Understanding Men Better.
- I read books.
- I attended seminars.
- I watched videos.
- I did a lot. But nothing much changed really.
Until I discovered a book that made my heart melt. The more I read it, the more I felt compassionate towards men. And that’s when things really started to change.
So What Can You Do To Understand Men Better?
- You can read books.
- Talk to people who really understand men.
- Figure it out for yourself.
- And much, much more.
But Really, I Encourage You To Keep Doing It Until You Feel Your Heart Begins To Melt.
Because that is a true sign that you’ve really begun to understand men better. And that’s when you’ll find it easy to…
- Calmly keep quiet and listen.
- Say ‘Tell me more’.
- Keep quiet again. And listen some more.
- Take some notes (in case you didn’t hear him carefully enough).
- Thank him for his help.
- Praise him for his suggestions.
- Thank him for listening to you.
And That Is When You Can Finally Earn His Trust…
So that he will feel understood enough.. Safe enough… And eager to confide almost everything about himself to you.