Your wife has said she’s done. Maybe at first, you had no idea what it was that she was done with. That’s understandable if you’re enjoying the marriage as it is. Many men are oblivious to the fact that their wife isn’t happy within the relationship and that’s not due to a lack of compassion or love. It’s mainly due to not really understanding what their wife is feeling. If your wife has declared that she’s done and she’s referring to the marriage and not her diet, you need to get serious about your marriage. It may feel as though all hope has just walked out the front door, but it hasn’t. You can still pull your relationship back from the brink of disaster if you have the right tools to make it happen.
Typically a woman will announce that she’s done with her marriage when she’s reached an emotional breaking point. This can come in the middle of a heated argument, on an anniversary that you’ve neglected to remember or just in a quiet moment when she’s been weighing what the marriage is giving her versus what it’s been taking from her. If she’s declared that she’s finished during a conflict, don’t jump to the conclusion that her next step will be packing her suitcase to leave. It likely won’t be. She’s just expressing her exasperation at what is taking place in that moment. It doesn’t necessarily reflect how she views the future of the marriage as a whole.
If your wife has told you that she’s tired of trying to make the marriage work and you believed that things were going okay, that’s a concern that you can’t ignore. Even though you may feel as though the marriage is ideal, save for a few minor issues, she obviously views it very differently. She’s unhappy and you need to address that with her now before it’s too late and she packs up both physically and emotionally and leaves the relationship. Your wife is, in essence, telling you that she’s not finding fulfillment within the marriage anymore. This is the point where you need to pull out all the emotional energy you have to help her.
Take this time to work on repairing the marriage. This is your opportunity to show your wife that you’re more than willing to step up to bat and help her find the connection that used to be there for the two of you. Often, a wife will feel that she wants out of the marriage because she’s emotionally not getting everything she needs. If you and your wife don’t sit and regularly talk about what’s going on in your marriage, you’re essentially allowing the relationship to coast along on its own. Sooner or later it’s bound to hit a bump in the road and get knocked off balance.
Start putting some time and real effort into working with your wife towards resolution of the problems she views within the marriage. Once she understands that you’re serious about making the relationship work, she’ll feel more emotionally invested herself again. Building a marriage takes time and a lot of effort from both individuals. Rebuilding a marriage that has started to decay takes just as much effort but the rewards are well worth it.
That’s not to say that just because you renew your commitment to making your wife happy that it will be smooth sailing from this day forward. More conflicts will arise, feelings will be bruised and you’ll both question whether the marriage is still satisfying your needs. These are normal feelings within any long term committed relationship. The difference between success and failure is how you handle those feelings in a mutually respective and productive way. Communication is always the key. Talking to your wife, sharing with her and listening to her will help you two bridge any conflict that arises in a way that brings you closer together.