Your wife wants her freedom. That doesn’t really coincide with the two of you living a long and happy life together, does it? What are you supposed to do when the woman you love and have vowed to spend your life with tells you that she wants her freedom? It’s a shock but it’s not the end of your marriage as you know it. You can take some steps right not to change things so the last thing she wants is any distance from you. As challenging as it is to not overreact when your wife makes an announcement like this, you have to try and temper your response and do what needs to be done to save your marriage.
If your wife wants her freedom you need to address that head on. Pretending that she’s just upset about an argument you two have had or that she’s hitting her mid life crisis isn’t going to help you in the least. This is not an instance in which you want to be burying your head in the sand. Your wife’s desire to have some space or distance is a clear sign that her needs aren’t being met in the marriage anymore. Since you are her partner it’s up to you to fix this by any means possible. That means taking control of the situation and finding a resolution that works for you both.
Ask her where her need for time apart is coming from. Listen to her explain what she’s feeling and allow her to do so without fear that you’re going to interrupt and get defensive. This is going to be one of the most important conversations the two of you ever have so it’s essential that you’re calm and willing to hear what she has to say. Some women feel they need their freedom because they just aren’t appreciated within their marriage anymore. Other women feel as though they’ve missed out on part of their life by getting married too young or because they’ve devoted much of their life to their family. Although you may view these as selfish reasons for your wife to want a time out from your marriage, they are important reasons to her.
Suggest that you two stay together and work on the issues that are troubling you together. Make it clear to your wife that she’s the most important person in your world and you’ll do whatever it takes to make her happy and satisfied. If she’s still insistent on wanting her freedom, work together to come to an agreement about her having more time for herself. Perhaps a couple of nights out during the week with her friends will help her feel more balanced or maybe she wants to get back into her career full time. If you’re open to her suggestions for how she can find more fulfillment, you’ll be showing her that she can have her freedom and her marriage too.
