My Wife Told Me She Hates Me and She Wants a Divorce! – How Can I Save My Marriage?

My Wife Told Me She Hates Me and She Wants a Divorce! – How Can I Save My Marriage?

A good friend of mine called me awhile back and was pretty upset. “My wife told me she hates me and she wants a divorce,” he said. “How can I save my marriage?” It was sad to hear because I am friends with both of them and hated to learn that they were having problems. We talked for about an hour and I shared with him what I had experienced when my own marriage nearly ended and the incredible secret I learned that would change everything.

Don’t spend a lot of time worrying about your wife telling you she “hates” you. It is an emotional reaction based on her unhappiness in the marriage. Many spouses have made similar statements out of sheer frustration. I do not in any way want to leave you with the impression that this is not a serious matter! Any time things have reached the point where one partner is talking about divorce, you’ve got a serious situation and it calls for immediate action. Just don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the negative emotions. You will need to be in the most resourceful state possible!

If you find yourself in a similar situation in your own marriage, there are some things you need to know. The most common reaction when facing a divorce that you don’t want is to try and talk your spouse out of it in any way possible. This rarely works. In fact, it will usually cause your spouse to pull away even further, surrender any power you may still have in the relationship, and make you look less attractive. I learned this first hand in my own marriage and have watched it play out time and time again with other couples I have advised.

Here is the secret to saving your marriage:

1. Avoid the common mistakes that will doom your chance to save the marriage. Do not place blame on yourself or your wife. Do not beg and plead with her. Do not allow anger or emotion to cloud your thinking.
2. Love your wife enough to let her go. That’s right! The more you push, the more she will pull away. Allow the natural and necessary space to occur between you.
3. Do not stubbornly cling to the notion that you can solve this problem on your own. Do not be afraid to get help from an expert who specializes in saving marriages, not counseling couples. There IS a difference!
4. Be willing to take action to save your marriage! There is a proven step by step plan available to you but you have to use it! The best plan in the world is worthless if it isn’t used.

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